couples swept away, negril. so the place at which our honeymoon is now booked gets pretty good reviews from all those customer websites. But. it gets negative reviews too. Only it gets funny ones. (if i could do this with the voices, i would.) see the following, which are not quoted *exactly* verbatim, but i think the gist is the same - hear them being read very nasal, very whiney, very stupid-

• the food is too spicy, i don't like it.
• i don't like Red Stripe beer.
• i hate being offered pot.
• they have gay people here.
• they have live reggae every night until eleven.
• i want to die.
• i can't have any fun.
• i hate myself.

okay, maybe i made up the last few. The vast majority of complaints - which is maybe like 5% of the customer responses - are about total plusses. live reggae every night? come on. the one vaguely legitimate complaint people seem to have about the place is that there are bugs in jamaica. But, hey, there are bugs in jamaica. So deal with it, asshats.